“Only You can decide”, how many times have you heard this phrase? Sometimes we are looking for guidance and we ask for advice, and sometimes the advice hits home, sits well with you & you decide go with it; other times the advice doesn’t sit well with you and you decide that is not the option for you. In both instances you Are the decider, even when you’re going with someone elses idea you are the one choosing. Sometimes, many people give you the wrong advice, and you follow it even though it doesn’t feel right.
Now, that last one causes problems. Forget what everyone says. Sit quietly, and allow the decision to make itself. You will know what feels truly right or wrong, you may not even understand why, but you will know. And I’m not just talking about big life events, even though the same applies! I mean even the small stuff, the everyday stuff, all stuff! All your pals want you to go somewhere and you just don’t want to, don’t force yourself, your gut doesn’t want to go. It may not want to go because it senses something negative, or simply because it knows your body needs rest, but it knows! You don’t need to rationalise it, it’s just right!
These are your natural instincts, like animals sensing an earthquake, your instinct senses occurrences also! Did you ever get caught in the rain and think “o I thought of bringing an umbrella & then didn’t bring it!”‘ That’s because you knew!! On a deeper level you knew!! They are the subtle ones, but they are at play in every moment. I am going to give you 3 examples from my own life, that to me were blatantly clear that my instinct knew more than I did!!
Instance 1 happened when I was 13, in 1999. I remember it as plain as day. It was saturday night, and I had told my friend Michelle I would call over. I was watching an episode of Friends before I went across the road to her house. As I watched, I had an internal dialogue going on: “Don’t go” “But I said I’d call over” “Doesn’t matter, don’t go” “I have to, she’s expecting me!” “But…somethings going to happen..a robber is gonna hurt me or something” “Don’t be silly”. Then my big sister came in and wanted to watch something else and that was decided, I was leaving!! I arrived at Michelle’s door, she ushered me in hurriedly as she had the chip pan on. We entered the kitchen, she went to the chip pan, with her back towards me. Her dog was in the kitchen, unusually, as he had been knocked down on the Thursday. He walking over to me gingerly, clearly still worse for wear, he put his head to me as if he wanted a pet. I leant down & petted his head…and he snapped at me.
Now, I say “snapped” because the dog did not Attack me, he did not ravage me, he bit me, once, but that was enough. Ladies & gentlemen, he bit me in the FACE! The goddamn face!! His lower jaw gripped my jaw, while his upper jaw gripped me eye socket…..my eye socket!!! He walked away then, in the same pained fashion he had lulled over to me in the first place. Crazy. I was rushed to hospital, where we found thankfully all the damage was to my lower eyelid, he completely missed my actual eye ball. So they patched me up, and then next morning I was knocked out as they sewed my eyelid back together. I should have followed my gut and saved myself the surgery by staying home!
I will be less long winded for the next examples!
The second instance, was having my son. When I had my daughter the year previous I was overdue,went into labour naturally & had a physically perfect birth (I was scared like, who isn’t the first time around!) But with my son I was 9 days overdue & brought in to be induced. I kept saying to my partner I didn’t want to, and he kept saying I didn’t have to, that it was my decision. I felt my son was fine inside, and that he would cone when ready, but they doctor kept insisting on an induction. She had wanted to do it earlier but I had put her off a few days. Even in the waiting room I felt like I wanted to run away, & my partner still said we could run, it was still my choice. But I submitted, fearful of being told off for not following advice, so I stayed. Labour pain was manageable, but baby wasn’t ready, as I suspected, and was in an awkward position. So everything went from bad to worse. They mangled me to get him out, sewed me up, then told me my placenta was stuck and I had lost way too much blood, so off to surgery again! I should have stayed home!
Lastly, the 3rd incident. My neighbours just got married on Easter Saturday, and I was excited for their day, but had a niggling feeling that something was going to hinder my attendance, there was a black cloud over that weekend that I could not shake. On Good Fri, I was due in work. My boss had offered me a later shift, and when I woke for work I just decided I’ll take the bit of a lie on after all. I contacted my boss & said I’d be in a bit later. After a few minutes, while still lying in bed I heard a commotion outside. This continued, so I looked out to see my other neighbour, a life long friend Donna, and her family coming out of there house, which was on fire! How glad was I that I stayed home instead of going to work like I would usually feel obliged to obviously! Because now I was there to comfort my friend as a traumatic event occurred. And it also did effect my attendance at the wedding, as we were so tired from the shock of the fire, the chaos of the fire brigades etc, that , while we did attend the wedding, we left very early from sheer exhaustion.
These occurrences, among countless others, have shown me to just follow my instincts, my intuition, and the same goes for you. No matter what it is, visiting that person, cutting that person out, drawing that picture, attending that class, opening that business, taking that class, picking that meal, choosing that treatment, whatever it is, do what YOU feel is right in every given moment. Life is fleeting,you cannot make people see from your perception on all things, nor do you Need them to, you cannot touch yesterday, nor can you touch tomorrow, you only have Here and Now, so be your own Guru, follow your own teachings, do your own thing, unapologetically! You are your guide, your are all the guru you need!!!
Til next time,
In Love & Wellness,
Mai. Xxx ❤