Hello & welcome back to Mai Holistic Life.
It’s been a while since my last post, I’ve been incredibly busy. I have written a book, and had to give my energy to that for a while, and then my brain needed time to relax!
So, with the book in mind, I want to talk about how important it is to just go for your goals.
We all have at least ONE thing that we have always wanted to attempt but haven’t, be it fear of failure, fear of judgement, feeling you don’t have enough money, whatever the reason there are many of us who hold back on our ambitions.
What I have learnt is that this holding back comes from a lack of self worth. You may say “Hang on, no! I love myself, I care about myself” , but if something in you feels like it’s not allowing you to approach something, that comes from fear and most fear of the new comes from not thinking you are capable of achievement.
Now, I am a real live human person, I am not rich by any means, we live humbly like most people. My neighbours & I have that lovely old fashioned community where if anyone is short between now & pay day we will give each other a dig out, or do a mini “shop” from eachothers larders, lol! I get that not every one has extra money lying around to put into projects, or travels, because I Am that person. Anything beyond the normal weekly budget of food, rent & amenities gets saved for. The children have everything they need of course, brand new and hand-me-down clothes for their constant growing bodies, the healthiest of foods, toys, educational tools, books etc, while I still have clothes that are older than the children!!
I too for a long time thought this inevitably meant that I was stuck between a rock & a hard place, forever damned to wonder how I could get the money to try the things I like, to experience things I had not yet experienced. Somewhere along the way that perception changed.
Since time began there has been duality, good occurrences & bad occurrences, yin & yang. But with communication have such immediacy nowadays with the internet, we See so much more detail of these things. And that affected me. I felt guilty for feeling lacking when.I have a roof & food & clothes & safety. How can I feel SO hard done by?!
Then I looked at life and realised that even in the moments of struggle that life was always in a constant state of motion. Like when someone near to you dies and the world feels surreal because it still turns without their presence, there is always motion. And within this motion, everything always works out, even if we don’t understand it in the moment.
I have always loved to create, but was too afraid to allow my creations become manifest in case someone thought they were shit, I loved reading books but was too ashamed to put my own thoughts on paper. Fear of failure & judgement. And then, of course sure I don’t have the money to put into these projects. Surely it’s a lost cause!!
Having the kids, I encouraged creativity&art, interacting with musical instruments in a completely playful relaxed non teachy way. And it splarked my love of creation again. Ive created all sorts, drawings, paintings, articles, my book, I’ve sewn teddys from scratch, I’ve upcycled and altered clothes,made bags, and still felt like oh I don’t have anything of any worth here.
I learnt how to make jewellery, which cost nothing as it was an internship. And then I realised, wow if I can do this so competently so early on then clearly there Is some creative skill.
My friend wrote 52 books in one & encouraged me to do the same, showing me all the free publishing avenues, because as I said, Money!!! I started this blog first, to find my voice, to see did anyone want to hear what I had to say. And yes,while there’s been lovely feedback, I KNOW theres only about ten of you that actually read it! But I kept doing it, because I found it so enjoyable, and such a learning experience that I couldnt get enough of it. I’ve since written for Foodmatters.com , Holistic Parenting Magazine, Atlantis Eire Celtic Spirit Magazine, and then I said screw it, I’m going to write the book.
I didnt really believe I would, but the minute I put pen to paper it felt the same as when I put a needle & thread through material, I couldn’t stop until the piece was finished,complete, good enough that I dont cringe looking at it!! And then, all of a sudden I had a complete book. A printed book in hands. And I looked at all the art I’ve created. The costumes. The jewellery cutting skills. All without any of this huge money thought I’d need.
I’m still not rich, we still “get by” in the exact same manner, monetarily nothing has changed. But internally EVERYTHING changed. I see the value in it all. And none of us are getting out of here alive, we cannot bring money to wherever our energy goes next, but we CAN leave behind something. We can leave beautiful art, stories, movies, inventions, culture, knowledge.
So do it. Just fucking do it. See like a child, remember & realise that the world is at your feet!
Can’t afford to travel to a different country,to see the world? Guess what, your country or wherever you are right now is part of the world too!! Go down the road, go to somewhere rural,experience the different terrains & people near by!! Can’t afford art supplies then improvise! Have something to say? Write it down, publish it for free. So fucking what if only one person goes “wow thats amazing”, even if NOBODY cares do it anyway.
Do it for you.
Do it to leave something of beauty to the world.
Til next time,
Lots of love,
Mai. xxxx 💗